Opinion: The price of skin-to-skin: A cautionary tale

Not too long ago, I encountered a married man from my old neighbourhood.

His marriage was teetering on the edge of collapse, and he had come to me desperate for help. He wanted me to intercede with his wife, to plead with her to “soften her stance” on a matter that had shattered their relationship.

This man’s wife had discovered his infidelity. He had been disloyal to their marriage vows, engaging in affairs with other women and lavishing money on his so-called “side chicks.” Meanwhile, his wife had been contributing financially to ease their household expenses—a partnership he had betrayed.

Understandably, his wife was deeply hurt. She decided to protect herself in the most pragmatic way possible. She refused to have unprotected sex with her husband, insisting on condoms from that point forward. Her reasoning was simple: since he had chosen to share himself with others, she needed to prioritise her health and safety.

But that wasn’t all. She also demanded that her husband pay her a specific sum each time he wanted to be intimate with her—a reflection of the funds he was so willing to spend on his extramarital escapades. It was her way of saying, “If you have so much money to waste on others, you can certainly afford to value what we share.”

His frustration brought him to me. “It was the devil’s handiwork,” he said, seeking pity and understanding. He begged me to persuade his wife to forgive him and to return to the way things had been before his indiscretions came to light.

But how do you ask a good woman, whose trust and heart have been shattered, to forgive so easily? How do you convince her to act as though the betrayal never happened?

When I finally spoke to his wife, she fixed her gaze on me and said something that has stayed with me ever since:
“Sharoneez, there’s a price for enjoying skin-to-skin intimacy, and that price is faithfulness to our marriage vows.”

Her words were profound. Cheating doesn’t just hurt—it destroys. It unravels the trust, connection, and memories that couples spend years building. Things can never truly go back to how they were.

If you find yourself dissatisfied in your relationship, the answer is not betrayal. Instead, have an honest, heartfelt conversation with your partner. Address your concerns and listen—truly listen—to theirs. Make the necessary changes before the damage becomes irreparable.

Because once the trust is gone, even the most passionate “skin-to-skin” connection loses its meaning. The price for repairing what’s broken may be one you can’t afford to pay.

Sharoneez Emephia